Let's Get Real: A Poem About Fear

CRACK

Fear shows up as a
shadow through a crack,
following that worn
tread in my ribs where
the mud has settled,
right at the level of
my heart. She carves her
anguished crop circles
across my hallowed
ground: my wishes and
mercies, my river and
rust, my acres of
dreams and stardust.

She runs her finger
around the rim of my
heart, rejoicing in the
fearful tones...scraping
her church spire against
my skies, worshiping
with her wicked language
in the cathedral of my mind.
She squanders her tragic
fortune in the ruins
of my scars, and I
follow her blindly with
a shame-wrecked smile.

She prays I won't notice
she's tiny as a grain,
she'll break so easily,
she will not meet my eyes,
she's more afraid of me.
All I'm left with is
an aftertaste of doom:
her grandeur in my mouth,
staining my tongue
with its blues.

© Sherri Brannon 2014

You remember too much,
my mother said to me recently. Why hold onto all that? And I said,
Where can I put it down? ~Anne Carson

I am so grateful that poetry is my place to "put it all down", including the ugly stuff. Our truths are not always pretty.

Fears cast a huge shadow. It's easy to get lost inside that shadow and stay there. My own personal fear monster is worrying about the future: anticipatory worry. Fear paralyzes us - it gives us an excuse not to grow. Fear also shames us, which means we often suffer in silence.

This poem I wrote is my imaginative way of expressing what it feels like to be stuck in that head space of fear. I turned fear into a person because its presence can be so strong it almost feels that way. And by the way, if fear were a person, it would have no spine, no soul.

I diminish my fears by writing them down...seeing them on paper allows me to logically break them down and think of solutions that make me feel more prepared. It help takes away their power, and also allows me to realize how ridiculous most of my worries are! Confiding in my husband or a trusted friend also always helps. The worse thing we can do is isolate ourselves with our fears - fear thrives in isolation.

My image was taken with my iphone...a "drive-by" shot as a passenger while driving down Rt. 123. I made it moodier by using the Grunge filters in Snapseed. When I took this photo a couple weeks back, I wasn't even thinking about my poem, but it sure is a perfect fit for it.

How do you cope with your own fears? We all have them...thank you for stopping by.

I must say a word about fear. It is life’s only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unnerving ease. It begins in your mind, always … so you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don’t, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you. ~Yann Martel, Life of Pi