Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Accepting My Limits
It’s dark because you’re thinking too hard. Lightly, child, lightly. You’ve got to learn to do everything lightly. Think lightly, act lightly, feel lightly. Yes, feel lightly, even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. Lightly, lightly—it was the best advice ever given to me. Throw away all your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly, my darling. ~Aldous Huxley
I don't often talk about it (and won't), but I have a chronic pain disease I've been dealing with for a decade now. The disease I have is interstitial cystitis, and it sometimes presents itself with painful flare-ups. Many of the flares can be caused by stress, and I was feeling a lot of anticipatory stress/excitement about my trip to Ohio this weekend. Unfortunately, my disease decided to rear its ugly head the night before our flight. It roared in, laid me flat, and I had to cancel my trip.
I've spent the last few days trying not to feel overcome by disappointment - this was a trip I was very much looking forward to. It was just my daughter and I going, a mother-daughter trip to a dear friend's wedding (my daughter was the maid of honor). When my daughter set off alone on Saturday and I found myself still at home, physically ill and in my pajamas, my packed bag lying there and no longer needed, I felt such a sadness that my body/stress level had betrayed me. I felt that I had let everyone down.
Coming face to face with our limits is difficult. I hate that my body does not handle stress well. Stress takes me down too quickly - it turns physical. There's such a strong connection between the emotions we're feeling and the effect it has on our bodies...mine is super sensitive. I wish it weren't so! I've been trying to accept my disappointment over what happened and move on, but I must confess I'm feeling a bit heavy-hearted. This limit I have makes me feel weak.
How do you go about accepting your own limits? I'd love to know...I definitely need to work on being as forgiving with my own limits as I would be if it were another person dealing with this.
On a happier note, the fall leaves here are at their absolute peak right now. It is incredibly gorgeous in Virginia. I used Kim Klassen's "touch-of-1" texture on this image, at Multiply/26%.
Thank you for stopping by - have a wonderful week, OK?