Friday, September 27, 2013
The Grace of a Dog
Un-winged and naked, sorrow surrenders its crown to a throne called grace. ~Aberjhani
On this Friday, I find that coming downstairs in the mornings and not seeing Ruby waiting for me is heart crushing. I find that every time I eat a meal, I'm still setting two tiny bites aside on my plate in honor of Ruby (I realized later that my daughter is doing the same). I find that a very simple routine, fixing a salad, is almost unbearable because it was Ruby's favorite thing and she would sit at my feet waiting for her crouton. I find going to the bank very hard because it's directly next door to the vet where we said goodbye. I find that grief makes your heart ache just as intensely whether it's a human being or a precious dog.
But do you know what else? I find that, despite the tears and pain of not having my Ruby here, I also feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. It's with me every moment of the day and it brings me such comfort. I feel so incredibly blessed and grateful that we got to have this beautiful angel in our lives. She was the best gift our family has ever been given. Between the tears of grief, we feel that gratefulness just as strongly. And our days are also filled with endless memories that make us smile and laugh...she gave us so many moments we will treasure forever.
We will get through this...but these first days are hard. We leave her water bowl out, we place her toys and pictures beside our computers and night stands, we leave the Ruby dust bunnies in the corners, and we take it one day at a time. I will try my best to handle my grief with as much grace as my sweet Ruby handled the last days of her life.
I promise there won't be endlessly sad blog posts in the coming weeks...these words today just felt right.