Sunday, June 23, 2013

Invasion

full moon

INVASION

The humming of a million cicadas
I am astonished by their singing
These spiny, groping things
With translucent wings

Their underground swarming
Syncs up with the arrival of mine
I have caught their spirit, I am
A shell of my self, my
Red eyes, my white noise

It is evening and they are silent
I lie awake aching, thinking
Of mundane things: a sponge
Full of holes and water, a pale
Arm yearning to grab at the moon

Finally, a restless sleep,
A temporary release
From the dread my spine
Has memorized

I dream I am flying, sloppily at best,
Landing, loose and stumbling,
Trampling a field of closed-up
Flowers, wandering fear-filled
In the dark of my midnight hours.

© Sherri Brannon

I have "caught" menopause. It's unpleasant enough that I like to think of it as a virus, and hopefully there's a quick cure? Insomnia and increased anxiety are two things I do not need in my life, thank you very much. You always hear about the hot flashes, but not the added pleasures of being sleep deprived and on edge!

The sudden onset of symptoms took me by surprise, just as the arrival of the cicadas did. And how interesting that both these invasions arrived in my life at the same time...it's as if mother nature brought the cicadas to bring home the point that life is often chaotic. One moment there was peace and silence in our neighborhood, and the next there were millions of these deafening, spiny insects overtaking every square inch of our property...a literal invasion. They were noisy, and pesky, and intrusive...just like the menopause symptoms invading my body.

Needless to say, I'm ready for them both to leave...here's a poem I wrote, and it's my submission for this week's Poets United. There's nothing worse than the turmoil of a sleepless night...when your brain seeks out every worry as you toss and turn, with bouts of restless slumber in between. I tried to capture that with my words.

This, too, shall pass...of that I'm certain. For anyone who is also dealing with this, you have my deepest sympathy!

NOTE: The photo was taken with my iPhone - last night's beautiful, full moon. The app I used was Scratchcam.

My heart trembles like a poor leaf.
The planets whirl in my dreams.
The stars press against my window.
I rotate in my sleep.
My bed is a warm planet.
~Marvin Mercer

16 comments:

  1. May both plagues be temporary ones. I like the way you wrote about the two together....and how together they both interfere with your life. Some wonderful phrasings. I especially like


    It is evening and they are silent
    I lie awake aching, thinking
    Of mundane things: a sponge
    Full of holes and water, a pale
    Arm yearning to grab at the moon

    Really, hearing those cicadas must almost drive a person crazy. So glad we are not bothered with them here.

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  2. Sherri,

    Beautifully written and felt. I believe I'm pre-menopausal. I've been encourage to take "mother's little helper pills" a few times. lol I was so struck by your description and feeling, I had to pause. You know, that unexpected thing that brings you joy. That is what you gave me today. Thank you.

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  3. I do hope you get through the plague easily!! I've just posted a couple of pictures of the moon from earlier in the week, I don't think we are going to get the chance to see the full moon as you have as it's cloudy and raining...yuk! x

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  4. And still we have to move on , absorbing every experience:)

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  5. ah i hope that you pass through them...it is different for everyone...i like the allusion to the cicadas and even how you wove in some of the symptoms in this....i like that last stanza as one of my fav dreams is that of flying....and i like how you dont just jump into it...its a fumbling at first...that is significant...

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  6. Powerful piece with amazing imagery...

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  7. A temporary release
    From the dread my spine
    Has memorized

    Beautiful write and I can so relate!

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  8. Beautiful poetry... pesky symptoms I can relate to many, and yet there is something new and interesting revealed in every change, pleasant or unpleasant.

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  9. I do not look forward to the day when this afflicts me, I have enough problems sleeping now :)

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  10. I so relate to the sleep deprivation, have been struggling with it for two weeks now and it is not fun. I hope we both get some sleep soon! Love your moon photo.

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  11. It's no fun. And no one talks about menopause...and it's a form of torture. Sure, there are worse things, but it's a whole other world and one you can't prepare for because until you're in it up to your neck, you have no idea what to expect. So different for each woman, but so many things strike a chord. And, as it's one o'clock in the morning here, it's clear that I am in that restless state. And what happened to my brain? It's like I fumble for words familiar and now suffer from verbal dyslexia where I trip up and over words. Yes, this struck a chord. :)

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  12. Gorgeous and thought provoking I am over the worst, but every now and then it comes back just to remind me....

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  13. I can definitely relate to this, passing through this stage and the worst seems to be the disrupted sleep. Good news is one does become more focused and calm after the turmoil. Beautiful poem!

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  14. A wonderful piece! Menopause is temporary, but is one of those things that FEELS as if it will go on forever. estrogen though helps you get through the craziness, Do suffer... better living through chemistry I think! Symptoms can last several years, so too long of a time to feel a bit crazy. You did capture very well though the feelings in your wonderful poetry Sherri

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